Oh Boy !

Prerelease Screen Capture From New Movie, "White Chicks 2"

KFC - 0 Trans Fat ?

I'm confused with the colonel over at KFC. First off pronunciation. How do you get "ker-nel" out of colonel? But more importantly, what does 0 trans fat mean? Is this it, or are they going to get rid of completely?

Check out this link explaining it.

Is PayDay rigged?

Chart of PayDay lotto results

I recently read on redflagdeals that if you buy 3 PayDay tickets, you get the 4th for free. I don't play the lottery much, but a free ticket sounds like a nice deal.

So I got curious, cut and paste the PayDay lottery results into a spreadsheet, and made a graph. The y axis is the frequency, the x axis is the actual number. FYI, PayDay has 77 numbers, of which, they draw 4.

Does the chart look a little funny to you? It does to me. Up until 35, it looks like a fairly flat distribution with some irregularities, as to be expected. But from 36 to 77, it looks different. I see a series of waves. And it looks as though the highest frequency numbers all peak within these waves.

It could be a fluke, but if I were playing, I'd pick the peaks of these waves, and anything in the middle...

My numbers are....

37, 38, 39
44, 45, 46, 47
52
60, 61, 62, 63
71, 72

Unfortunately, that's still 14 numbers, way too many to play in all combinations. Good luck.

Piano Playing Cat

I Like Ferrets

Black footed ferret

Yahoo posted a slideshow of these ferrets they found recently that were thought to have gone extinct. Click here to see the full slideshow.

Yeah Right

And I thought I was the only one who made up fake online stories!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070408/ap_on_fe_st/glf_ace_at102

Coyote Quiznos

Hard to believe :) See link below.

Coyote Story

Ten Things Your Restaurant Will Not Tell You

Unlike most net fluff, this article is pretty good. See link below.

10-Things-Your-Restaurant-Will-Not-Tell-You

Monkeys

Or are they orangutans? No clue.

I've got nothing to say lately, but I found this picture I took a couple of years ago that actually doesn't look like shit. The colors are so bright and separated, almost looks like I photoshop'd it.

Life At Google

I've talked about perks before, but here is a great set of 11 pictures that sums up what's it like to work at Google.

http://www.time.com/time/photoessays/2006/inside_google/index.html

Tara Conner Prepares To Hand Off Crown

Tara Conner Or Suzanne Sommers?

Fifty-one new hopefuls are gathering in Los Angeles in preparation for this Friday's Miss USA 2007 pageant. So far, this year's pageant has been largely overshadowed by last year's titleholder, Tara Conner. Conner hung on to her crown after Donald Trump, who owns the Miss Universe and Miss USA contests in a partnership with NBC, decided to give her a second chance. She underwent a stint in rehab in Pennsylvania for her drinking.

"I'm really happy with the way the rehab went, and my addiction to gin has been completely eliminated.", said Conner. Conner's amazing success has been attributed to substituting scotch and white wine for her former master, gin. "I find the scotch and white wine combination quite relaxing". Asked if she felt any pressure being a role model to millions of young American girls, Conner said, "Not really. But I do hope that young girls around the country will realize that alcoholism can occur at any age, and that there are other things to drink besides gin."

The 56th Annual Miss USA Pageant will be televised Friday live from the Kodak Theater in Hollywood.

Zoom Zoom Boom

My car broke down again, 3rd time in 4 months. I have a 2001 Mazda 626....I bought it (used) because I thought Japanese cars were reliable? What's the deal?

No Chance In Quebec

I've always wondered why contests are never open to Quebec residents. In case you are curious too, here's the answer.

Michael Moore Exposed - A Documentary About Him !

Read link --> Documentary Questions Moore's Tactics

Thank god someone finally called bullshit. I should start off by saying that I like Michael Moore, and I think he's made some great films. (Roger & Me is one of my favorites) Plus Moore was the only guy on the planet saying don't go into Iraq after 9-11. Remember his brilliant 2003 Oscar quote, "we live in fictitious times, with a fictional war led by a fictional president for fictional reasons" (his microphone was basically disabled at that point). Now that was an interesting Oscar show!

All that said, I can get uncomfortable watching his movies, because some of the scenes in his movies smack of being "staged". And some of the "facts" seem just a little too perfect. Of course, I could never prove it....I'm just a cheese eating Canadian boy.

But I always got the feeling that Moore would rather go for the big impact at the expense of telling both sides. So essentially, I think of him as an entertainer, but not necessarily a reliable source. I haven't actually seen this documentary yet, but I eagerly await it's Toronto debut.

Wow, technology !

SEE THRU CONCRETE !!!

Optical fibers are mixed with the concrete to let light pass thru



AND BONUS TECHNOLOGY....check this out!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZNTgglPbUA

Perk Followup - Google

I last posted about Facebook.com's perks for employees. Now I see why their perks are so good at Facebook, they have to compete with Google.

Story On Google Bus

Facebook Has Great Perks

Katrina (you may know her as Little Miss Sunshine) made me join Facebook.com, so I was reading their Jobs page. Check out these benefits!

---

Facebook rewards its engineers with great salaries and options packages, plus numerous benefits and perks:

* Medical, dental and vision plans with no premium for employees
* 401(k) plan
* 21 vacation days per year, plus 8 company holidays and 2 floating holidays
* Complimentary catered breakfast, lunch and dinner daily
* Complimentary beverages and snacks
* Dry cleaning and laundry service onsite
* Free downtown parking permit
* Subsidized gym membership
* Catered Friday Happy Hours at the office
* $600/month housing subsidy if you live within one mile of the office
* Standard-issue 24" LCD monitors and your option of 15" Apple MacBook Pro or IBM ThinkPad
* Worldwide notoriety by having your face on sample Facebook flyers

Filler Time

I have nothing to say, but I need a new post. So how about them Raptors? Ummm, that won't work, I don't watch basketball. So here's some random crap....

Aeroplan sent me an email telling me that my 16,000 points are going to expire if I don't use them by July 1. In case you're not familiar, 15,000 points is enough for one, short haul flight. So I can go as far south as Georgia, or to New York, or to Newfoundland. So that's cool, but I'm not sure I want to go anywhere. Any suggestions?

I will be doing yet another inner city move at the end of May, but I know I'll end up paying more rent than where I am now. Not that I can change my mind, I already told my landlord. I would buy something, but all I could afford is a newer, tiny condo that's way too small, an old condo with ridiculously high condo fees, or something not in Toronto. All 3 choices, I find non-appealing. Plus I keep waiting for this recession to hit, dammit.

I found out that I like cross country skiing quite a bit by going out with a local outdoor club a few times. Plus x-country is cheap, and a lot more challenging than one would think.

The government announced $1.5 billion for a new Toronto subway expansion. Who plans cities? They suck cock. The subway expansion plan blows almost as bad as the dedicated St. Clair streetcar plan, or how about the "let's tear down the Gardiner and put traffic lights" idea. The problem with the subway expansion is they're assuming everyone wants to go from the suburbs to downtown, and back again. But people ain't goin' downtown. Ask anyone who works in a business park. The one I work in Mississauga is expanding like a mofu, and people are driving to it from places like Orangeville, Barrie, and Ajax. How's this subway going to help them? Oh yeah, it'll ease the congestion. Right.

I find that actress from Grey's Anatomy, Katherine Heigl, to be the hottest new chick going. She's the quintessential blonde bombshell. Heigl, what is that....German? Maybe she should change it to Himler.

Heigl Pic

Well, that's enough filler. Have a nice day.

Talking Stock Chart

It's saying "Wade" !

Sometimes my stocks talk to me. I own some shares in this company, and today the stock chart spelled out my name. I had to add some lines (in red) to make it more clear. Ironically, it's better than my own handwriting.

Funny Flow Chart

I think the computer geek in me found this funny.

Muchmusic VJ, Sarah Taylor, In Coma

Is it me, or is this the most underreported story in Canada? I saw her in person about 3 months ago at the Drake Hotel.

Read more about her condition here.

Sarah Taylor Update From Muchmusic.com
Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 5:45pm EST

We're happy to report that Sarah was brought out of the coma, late yesterday. Sarah remains in intensive care and her doctors are observing her closely to determine how soon she can come home. We are continuing to pass on your emails to Sarah's family and will post new information as it becomes available.

David Kines, VP Music & Youth Services, CHUM Television

How To Avoid Identity Theft

In this internet age, we all need to think more about protecting our personal information. That's why I spent the entire weekend pouring over research to compile this list. Please share with your loved ones.

Ways To Protect Yourself Against Identity Theft

1. Do not use your social insurance number as a password for porn sites.


2. Shred all fully completed Sudoku's before throwing in the trash.


3. If someone is standing closer than 5 feet behind you while using an ATM, put your shirt collar straight up to block their view.


4. If singing the 1982 Tommy Tutone classic "Jenny,867-5309", do not substitute your home phone number. If your actual number is 867-5309, limit your rendition to shower only.


5. Do not hand out copies of your credit card statement at the library.


6. During sexual intercourse, refrain from screaming your mother's maiden name.

Another Ticketmaster Robbery In The Name Of Norah

Norah Looking Cute

I'd say for the past 10 years, I may have gone to 2-3 concerts. I probably would've gone to 10-20 if it wasn't for Ticketmaster and their insane fees. Only Pearl Jam has had the balls to try and stand up to them, and they lost that battle.

I'm telling you this because I discovered Norah Jones is coming to Massey Hall and I really like her. In all ways possible. She very stalkworthy.

So I ask the web site for 2 tix, Best Available. What kind of dream world do I live in anyway? Yeah sure, I'll just pick up some Norah Jones seats, probably weeks after they went on sale. Maybe no one knows she's coming!

Of course, the site said "None Available". But....I read on the Fuck You It's Sold Out page....."Try changing your setting to Best Available, or reduce the number of seats asked for."

Reduce the number of seats to 1? Hmmm, ok. I mean, it's Norah Jones bitches. So I did, and a seat came available!

PRICE LEVEL 1 - OBSTRUCTED VIEW SEATING

An obstructed view, single? Full price? Hmmm, ok. You only live once, right?

So check out the fees I'm paying.....for this obstructed view, single seat.

Full Price Ticket      $57.50 x 1
Facility Charge        $ 2.50 x 1
Convenience Charge     $ 6.50 x 1

Delivery (Pickup)      $ 0.00
Order Processing Fee   $ 3.50

TOTAL CHARGES CA       $70.00

Facility charge  -  Yeah, I'm sure.
Convenience charge  -  Ok, that's Ticketmaster's cut.
Other Processing Fee  -  Come again? What? Other? Fuck! They couldn't even come up with a bullshit name? Those assholes.

So in summary, I'm shelling out $70 to sit behind a pillar to listen to (but not see) Norah Jones, by myself. Cool.

Snow Day

Pigeons take a novel approach to the snowstorm. Ignore it.


An hour of snow later.


Cool "snow cone" formed on my BBQ

Anna Nicole Smith - Sneak Peek At Coroner's Report

Anna Nicole Smith just hours before her death

It's not often I get to break an exclusive on my blog...but today is an exception.

Through one of my hollywood connections, I was able to get a leaked copy of Anna Nicole Smith's coroner's report. I expect this will be announced by the major news sources sometime on Friday afternoon. Enjoy.

Broward County Medical Office (Confidential)
===========================================

Name Of Deceased - Anna Nicole Smith
Chief Medical Examiner - Dr. Joshua Perper
...
Cause Of Death - Excessive Coal Mining
...

 

Don't Piss Off A Web Designer :)

Click on picture to animate it.

Stolen without permission from colabtees.com

How To Waste Time - Tip #1

Looking to waste time? Check out this anagram server.

http://wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html#

Put in any name or phrase, and it'll give you all possible anagrams. The generated list is so long, it could take your an hour or more to sort thru it.

I put in my name, and these are a few I noticed that were funny. Well, funny to a sick person such as myself.

A LAD RAM WELSH     HARD MALES LAW
A WALLED MARSH      A SWARMED HALL
DRAMA AH SWELL      ALARMS WHALED
WARHEADS MALL       WASH ALL MA RED

Pan's Labyrinth

The best and worst experiences happen when you go into a movie knowing nothing. I am very disorganzied, so this happens to me a lot. Well, I think I experienced a little of both when I saw Pan's Labyrinth yesterday.

I was expecting some light, whimisical fare like Ella Enchanted or maybe even the original Labyrinth movie. Well let me tell you....this ain't no Labyrinth and Anne Hathaway is not getting tied to a tree while wearing a low cut blouse.

This movie is violent. And depressing. And in Spanish for fuck's sakes! Layered on top of this dark setting is some magic shit, but it's not even nice magic shit. And there is a sorta happy ending (which lasts 2 mins), but it doesn't really fit, and it's so late in coming it hardly makes up for the 2 hours of despair.

All that being said, I've never seen a movie like it and was on the edge of my seat at times. Just don't buy the DVD for your 11 year old niece.

Crazy Japz

I don't post links very often, but this one was pretty funny.

Note - It will get a bit repetitive around the 3-4 minute mark, but hang in there because the last 2 minutes is *definitely* worth it.

Lite Brite Cripples Boston

My cousin is the Kool-Aid jug guy who goes thru the brick wall

Quick summary....the Cartoon Network (subsidiary of Turner Broadcasting) is in hot water after their marketing campaign to promote the TV show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" backfired. They decided to promote their animated series by deploying little blinking light boards in various outdoor locations across 10 major U.S. cities, including Boston. They've been in operation for 2-3 weeks already. But I guess no one in Boston noticed them until today.....when someone mistook the LCD man giving them the finger as a bomb.

CNN - "A commuter spotted one of these blinking light boards in a Boston bus station. Soon, there were reports of other blinking light boards throughout the city, some near bridges and highways. The discovery of the light boards led state, local and federal authorities to close the Boston University and Longfellow Bridges and block boat traffic from the Charles River to Boston Harbor. In addition, the Pentagon said U.S. Northern Command was monitoring the situation from its headquarters in Colorado Springs, Colorado, but said none of its units were dispatched to assist."

So now the you've got the Boston mayor, the Boston police force, the FBI, a Mass. congressman, etc, etc all pissed off and threatening legal action because of all the resources used on this screw up. Well, they're right...someone should be in shit. But shouldn't it be the retard who ordered the calvalry without checking it out first?

You know, sometimes at night I hear noise from the alley that sounds a lot like Ayman al-Zawahiri. Should I call Mel Lastman? Noooobody gets away with terrorist activity in Toronto's back alleys. Noooooooooboooodddddddy !!

UPDATE - Feb 1st!
Looks like the situation is getting even more laughable. They're putting the two guys on trial who were paid to put up the signs. See story...

Two plead not guilty to Boston hoax charges

Check out their picture, they look perfect for the sequel of "Dude, Where's My Car?". Yeah, let's make these two potheads pay....that makes A LOT of sense. Like it was their idea. I see in the article I wasn't the only one who thought it looked like a Lite-Brite.

The Art Of Being Frugal

I've read/heard a lot about becoming wealthy by spending less or generally being cheap. For example, forego your daily Starbucks fix, pack a lunch (as opposed to eating out), open an ING savings account for an extra 1/2% interest, threaten to cancel your cable to get $20 off the bill, etc, etc, etc.

Well, I'll never do any of these things! I think the only solution is to make more money. And as soon as I figure out how to do that, I'll get back to you.

My Top 40 Comedies Of All Time

I've always thought I should compile a list of movies that have made me laugh over the years, so tonight I sat down and did it.

I can hardly call it comprehensive or scientific, as there's lots of movies I haven't seen and I probably forgot some too. Nor is it an intellecutal list, I seem to enjoy dumb comedies more than smart ones. But comedy is subjective, and so is my list :) Enjoy.

1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off - This movie bombed big time when it came out, but I think it was a monster on VHS :) I didn't know anything about it, we only picked it because the poster looked so lame. Ironically I was skipping school at the time with 2 buddies. We caught the matinee, and no one else was in the theatre!


2. Stripes - Made for underacheivers like me.


3. Something About Mary - Best line - "My passion is my hobby—I work with retards." I had the hugest crush on Cameron Diaz after watching it. I heard she's single again.


4. Caddyshack - Has to win the award for most funny guys on screen at one time.


5. Airplane - "You have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"


6. Planes, Trains, & Automobiles - This movie made me cry. What can I say?


7. Dumb & Dumber - I don't like this movie, I love it! Non-stop laughing.


8. Throw Mamma From The Train - Maybe I'm just giving Danny DeVito props for Taxi, but it's still my #8.


9. The Wedding Singer - You have to be from the right generation to appreciate it. And Sandler really can sing.


10. The Jerk - Steve Martin at his peak.


11. Fast Times At Ridgemont High - Besides being really funny, it's a great movie too. One of the first high school movies, and still the best.


12. Election - I know, you probably haven't even *seen* Election. Do yourself a favor and rent it.


13. Vacation - The best road trip movie EVER. Although maybe I should revisit Smokey and the Bandit just to be sure.


14. Mrs. Doubtfire - Robin Williams as a middle-aged, female housekeeper....how can it not be on the list?


15. Austin Powers : The Spy Who Shagged Me - Call me a simpleton, but I like the second one better because of Mini-Me. There's also more Dr. Evil too, which I like-y.


16. Groundhog Day - Funny AND smart. You won't see many of THOSE on my list. I keep thinking I hate Bill Murray, but he sure shows up a lot.


17. The Naked Gun - It's no Airplane, but still classic enough to crack my top 40.


18. Ruthless People - Despite have the worst name in Hollywood, Judge Reinhold actually CAN be funny. And you thought he was just a close talker.


19. Blues Brothers - Why this movie works I have no idea? It just does.


20. This Is Spinal Tap - Another generational thing....kids today probably wouldn't get it.


21. Back To School - Rodney at his best.


22. Borat - I know what you're thinking, am I crazy? But I laughed so hard.....this movie is 'very nice'


23. The Witches Of Eastwick - Might not be considered a comedy by some. Love the cherry scene.


24. Clerks - Who knew black and white could be funny? Shot on a budget of $27,575!


25. Analyze This - Most people would pick Meet The Parents, but I like this one better. Sopranos totally ripped it off (they ripped off Good Fellas too).


26. Night Shift - Keaton and the Fonz are a classic pairing. Great movie, I'm actually going to move it up in my list after I finish typing this line :)


27. Finding Nemo - Not much for animated movies, but Ellen makes me laugh. Sorry Shrek.


28. Dragnet - Comedy is pretty easy actually. Just pair two opposites together with a common goal.


29. Raising Arizona - I can't remember anything about this movie except I died laughing.


30. The Longest Yard (1974 version) - The ultimate guys movie. Too bad they tainted the legacy with the Sandler/Rock sellout.


31. Legally Blonde - Ok, ok, we are getting to the B class here. But TBS Superstation can wear a man down.


32. Midnight Run - Or pair two opposites with the opposite goal. :)


33. Clueless - Wow, it was all downhill for Silverstone after this one. And all uphill for Britney Murphy, did you even know that was her???


34. The Couch Trip - Walter Matthau is hilarious. I heard a rumor he was a bit of a pompous ass to work with though.


35. Arthur - What's funnier than a drunk? Nothing!


36. Ace Ventura – Pet Detective - Driving a car with your head out the side window can't be topped.


37. Bananas - Like Raising Arizona, I can't remember much except laughing a lot. Where in the world would I find a copy, anyway?


38. Spies Like Us - So why not Fletch instead? I guess I didn't see that one as much. I'm surprised to see Dan Aykroyd in my list so much.


39. Zoolander - Pure dumb. That's why it's here. I think the Mulder scene is what put it over the top, and into the coveted #39 position!


40. Summer School - No, this isn't a mistake. With star power like Kirstie Alley and Marc Harmon, how can it be denied? :)