Talking Stock Chart

It's saying "Wade" !

Sometimes my stocks talk to me. I own some shares in this company, and today the stock chart spelled out my name. I had to add some lines (in red) to make it more clear. Ironically, it's better than my own handwriting.

Funny Flow Chart

I think the computer geek in me found this funny.

Muchmusic VJ, Sarah Taylor, In Coma

Is it me, or is this the most underreported story in Canada? I saw her in person about 3 months ago at the Drake Hotel.

Read more about her condition here.

Sarah Taylor Update From Muchmusic.com
Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 5:45pm EST

We're happy to report that Sarah was brought out of the coma, late yesterday. Sarah remains in intensive care and her doctors are observing her closely to determine how soon she can come home. We are continuing to pass on your emails to Sarah's family and will post new information as it becomes available.

David Kines, VP Music & Youth Services, CHUM Television

How To Avoid Identity Theft

In this internet age, we all need to think more about protecting our personal information. That's why I spent the entire weekend pouring over research to compile this list. Please share with your loved ones.

Ways To Protect Yourself Against Identity Theft

1. Do not use your social insurance number as a password for porn sites.


2. Shred all fully completed Sudoku's before throwing in the trash.


3. If someone is standing closer than 5 feet behind you while using an ATM, put your shirt collar straight up to block their view.


4. If singing the 1982 Tommy Tutone classic "Jenny,867-5309", do not substitute your home phone number. If your actual number is 867-5309, limit your rendition to shower only.


5. Do not hand out copies of your credit card statement at the library.


6. During sexual intercourse, refrain from screaming your mother's maiden name.

Another Ticketmaster Robbery In The Name Of Norah

Norah Looking Cute

I'd say for the past 10 years, I may have gone to 2-3 concerts. I probably would've gone to 10-20 if it wasn't for Ticketmaster and their insane fees. Only Pearl Jam has had the balls to try and stand up to them, and they lost that battle.

I'm telling you this because I discovered Norah Jones is coming to Massey Hall and I really like her. In all ways possible. She very stalkworthy.

So I ask the web site for 2 tix, Best Available. What kind of dream world do I live in anyway? Yeah sure, I'll just pick up some Norah Jones seats, probably weeks after they went on sale. Maybe no one knows she's coming!

Of course, the site said "None Available". But....I read on the Fuck You It's Sold Out page....."Try changing your setting to Best Available, or reduce the number of seats asked for."

Reduce the number of seats to 1? Hmmm, ok. I mean, it's Norah Jones bitches. So I did, and a seat came available!

PRICE LEVEL 1 - OBSTRUCTED VIEW SEATING

An obstructed view, single? Full price? Hmmm, ok. You only live once, right?

So check out the fees I'm paying.....for this obstructed view, single seat.

Full Price Ticket      $57.50 x 1
Facility Charge        $ 2.50 x 1
Convenience Charge     $ 6.50 x 1

Delivery (Pickup)      $ 0.00
Order Processing Fee   $ 3.50

TOTAL CHARGES CA       $70.00

Facility charge  -  Yeah, I'm sure.
Convenience charge  -  Ok, that's Ticketmaster's cut.
Other Processing Fee  -  Come again? What? Other? Fuck! They couldn't even come up with a bullshit name? Those assholes.

So in summary, I'm shelling out $70 to sit behind a pillar to listen to (but not see) Norah Jones, by myself. Cool.

Snow Day

Pigeons take a novel approach to the snowstorm. Ignore it.


An hour of snow later.


Cool "snow cone" formed on my BBQ

Anna Nicole Smith - Sneak Peek At Coroner's Report

Anna Nicole Smith just hours before her death

It's not often I get to break an exclusive on my blog...but today is an exception.

Through one of my hollywood connections, I was able to get a leaked copy of Anna Nicole Smith's coroner's report. I expect this will be announced by the major news sources sometime on Friday afternoon. Enjoy.

Broward County Medical Office (Confidential)
===========================================

Name Of Deceased - Anna Nicole Smith
Chief Medical Examiner - Dr. Joshua Perper
...
Cause Of Death - Excessive Coal Mining
...

 

Don't Piss Off A Web Designer :)

Click on picture to animate it.

Stolen without permission from colabtees.com

How To Waste Time - Tip #1

Looking to waste time? Check out this anagram server.

http://wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html#

Put in any name or phrase, and it'll give you all possible anagrams. The generated list is so long, it could take your an hour or more to sort thru it.

I put in my name, and these are a few I noticed that were funny. Well, funny to a sick person such as myself.

A LAD RAM WELSH     HARD MALES LAW
A WALLED MARSH      A SWARMED HALL
DRAMA AH SWELL      ALARMS WHALED
WARHEADS MALL       WASH ALL MA RED

Pan's Labyrinth

The best and worst experiences happen when you go into a movie knowing nothing. I am very disorganzied, so this happens to me a lot. Well, I think I experienced a little of both when I saw Pan's Labyrinth yesterday.

I was expecting some light, whimisical fare like Ella Enchanted or maybe even the original Labyrinth movie. Well let me tell you....this ain't no Labyrinth and Anne Hathaway is not getting tied to a tree while wearing a low cut blouse.

This movie is violent. And depressing. And in Spanish for fuck's sakes! Layered on top of this dark setting is some magic shit, but it's not even nice magic shit. And there is a sorta happy ending (which lasts 2 mins), but it doesn't really fit, and it's so late in coming it hardly makes up for the 2 hours of despair.

All that being said, I've never seen a movie like it and was on the edge of my seat at times. Just don't buy the DVD for your 11 year old niece.

Crazy Japz

I don't post links very often, but this one was pretty funny.

Note - It will get a bit repetitive around the 3-4 minute mark, but hang in there because the last 2 minutes is *definitely* worth it.