Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Polar Bears Found To Have Developed Written Language


Generally thought to lack the mental capacity to exhibit complex behaviour, scientists at the Online University of Argentina have surprisingly found that polar bears have their own distinct language, sporting up to 2,400 words and phrases.

This phenomenon was first postulated in 1998 when graduate student, Obamo Baracko, observed polar bears making unusual paw movements in the snow while in the company of other bears. Baracko placed stop-motion cameras at various locations around communal feeding ground areas, and slowly uncovered their unique paw scripting patterns.

"Over the past 10 years, I've determined the bears have their own vocabulary and grammar that I call Barium", said Baracko. Some of the more complex phrases he's deciphered so far are "it's windy", "big fish below", "snow coming", and "humans fucked our climate".

Baracko's next study will involve studying the interactions of polar bears with other cold weather animals, such as penguins and sea lions, to determine if the polar bear language can be understood by other species.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008