- The ironing board turns into permanent "kitchen island".
- Pigeons try to get into the apartment to eat off the carpet.
- Bathroom mirror looks like a Jackson Pollack painting.
- Shower floor becomes a solid grey color from it's original "tile look".
- Fruit flies extend range from kitchen and colonize the living room.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
5 Signs That The Apartment Isn't So Clean
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2 comments:
- potential girlfriend (P.G.) dumps you after seeing apartment
- The cockroaches start complaining that there's no room to walk around.
- what once was open space is now a trail from one place to another thanks to piles of stuff.
- your surrounding neighbors complain from the stench of the "dead body".
- your garbage can is no where to be found (without digging under piles of stuff).
- You look for other friends with apartments that are worse off so you can compare your apartment to theirs saying that your apartment is clean in comparison hoping to get the P.G. back.
- The door to your apartment will not open all the way thanks to stuff crammed behind it.
- Friends visiting expect the floor to move and an arrow to shoot out of the walls or a boulder like object falling toward them chasing them out of the apartment itself.
- The city fines you for uncleared demolition.
- Only you can walk through your apartment with the lights off without stepping on something.
- You say "Oh that's where that went." more than once a day.
Well, now I feel better. And who needs them (i.e. women) anyway?
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