Putting 1 and 1 Together

Ever since I saw Borat a couple months ago, something was bugging me about his name, Sacha Baron Cohen. Today I finally figured it out, he shares the same name with US figure skater, Sasha Cohen. I heard she's 4th busiest prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.

You Can't Argue Science

According to a new report out today by the American Medical Association, Miss Teen USA is exactly 4.7 times hotter than Miss USA.

2000 Flushes

I bought this for my toilet as a diversionary tactic. I think it's working, you can't see brown thru blue.

They should invent a product based on the same idea for the whole apartment....like a blue gel that oozes out of a closet or something and covers the floor. I would like the blue gel to be higher than countertop level to take care of the kitchen, but it should be have a low enough viscosity so I can wade thru it to get to the couch.

Funny eBay Feedback - User andy46477

Feedback msgs.....all from andy46477

http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedbackMemberLeft&memberid=andy46477&items=-1&item=-1&de=off

He's Moving, He's OK

Playing Dumb Pays

http://www.local6.com/news/10469771/detail.html

5 Signs That The Apartment Isn't So Clean

1. The ironing board turns into permanent "kitchen island".


2. Pigeons try to get into the apartment to eat off the carpet.


3. Bathroom mirror looks like a Jackson Pollack painting.


4. Shower floor becomes a solid grey color from it's original "tile look".


5. Fruit flies extend range from kitchen and colonize the living room.

Drake + Coffee Time Muffins

I went to the Drake Hotel on Friday night for the first time, and it's quite fun. Everyone there was friendly and even Sarah Taylor and that other blonde fudgepacking guy VJ from Muchmusic were there.

And then the weirdest thing happened. On my way home, I stopped in at the Coffee Time. I had a craving for one of their chocolate chip muffins. At 2:30 in the morning, I'd expect they might not have any muffins left at all.

But to my surprise, the display case was packed with muffins of every kind. So I bought one and get this.......it was fucking warm. I almost fainted. I always thought Coffee Time just went around to the other donut shops and took the muffins the other places were going to throw out.

So the lesson to be learned.....if you want fresh muffins from Coffee Time, go at 2:30AM.

Iraq - At Least Another 10 Years Of Violence

So many opinions on Iraq....here's what I think.

Now that it's begun, nothing will can stop violence between these different religious groups. Not more US troops, not training an Iraqi army with US troops, not a pullout of US troops, not anybody else's troops, not Oprah, not a plan to segregate the country, not an airdrop of 2 for 1 coupons at Fallujah Falafel, not talks between the tribe elders.......I mean nothing will work.

The only thing that stopped this from happening before was the Hussein government. So Saddam gets the death penalty for oppressing the Kurds during an uprising, but didn't the US gov't kill 70 some odd people in Waco for similar reasons? If you're running a country like Iraq, a show of force might be necessary sometimes. I mean, look what has happened without the strong gov't....it's civil war.

So I think at a minimum, we'll see at least 10 more years of violence. Hopefully they'll get it out of their system by then.

Quiz Site

I had been talking with a couple of people about making a site where people can make/share their own quizzes. I found a site that does it, so this is a test.

Take My Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com Can you Ace my quiz? Yes! No Let's Find Out!

Oh no...Starbucks!

Why is everyone so down on Starbucks? Apparently they represent globalization.....run for your lives! I can think of a lot worse things to have in your neighbourhood. Residents should be happy....they found that property values go up by a certain percentage whenever a Starbucks enters the neighbourhood.

But the real fact of the matter is....Starbucks has always treated their employees extremely well, buy as much coffee as they can thru the Certified Fair Trade movement (i.e. farmers don't get ripped), and they collect revenue from people who can geniunely afford to give it away.

And yet there's a Starbucks on Queen West that has been the target of multiple vandalizations. Now Magazine doesn't help with their ridiculously left slant....these guys make Jesse Jackson seem wishy-washy. I bet they'd encourage a little window smashing if the could run a cross-promotion with the Drake Hotel. Urban games!

Just seems to me like there are other more deserving corporate bullies to pick on.

Signs You Live In A Slum

The nearest Starbucks to my apartment is 6.1 km.
The nearest Second Cup to my apartment is 5.5 km.
The nearest Timothy's to my apartment is 5.9 km.
....
The nearest Coffee Time to my apartment --> 100m.

Signs You Have A Dead End Job

Google ads that popped up in my browser today

My Trip To The Dollar Store

I went to the dollar store to get some dry erase markers, you know, the ones for white boards. So they had them, but it was a full dollar for each one. Somehow I thought this was a good deal, so I bought 5, and they were ALL DEFECTIVE!!

Oh yeah, so at the cash register I saw a pregency test. Is this an impluse buy? And is it something you want to trust to the dollar store? I dunno about that....

So the best thing I got was this huge can of Arizona Fruit Punch. The can was huge, 695ml. It was red and tasty. I drank 1/2 of it one day, and the other 1/2 the next day.

Old Expressions

For some reason, I got reminded of a dumb expression my parents used to say. They don't make much sense in 2006, but here's a few my parents used to use.

• Grinning like a fox eating shit through tall grass.


• They had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.


• He's three sheets to the wind. (drunk) - explanation


• If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis.


• I'm off, like a Jew's foreskin. (when leaving)

Dray Play III

I spoke too soon. I completed the circle level and that was the end of the game. Thank god. I don't know why people play video games, it stresses me out.

Draw Play II

This level got my goat. Those spikey things move, real fast, in a sideways fashion. I did eventually clear it, but it took 20 minutes.


And I have a feeling this level will send me into Draw Play retirement in my first day playing. Yes, those circles spin around.

Draw Play

Here is a game that will frustrate you and cause you to become even more unproductive at work. Enjoy!

Link To Draw Play Game

Update: I learned that if you hold down the mouse button, you can "push" the player straight up w/ your mouse. That made the early levels I was struggling on a piece of cake.

Pressure Cooker

I do everything my friend Joe tells me to. And Joe said I should get a pressure cooker, so I bought one. Now I'm wondering, what the hell am I going to do with a pressure cooker? I don't cook!

And what's up with the warranties on cookware? I've got a 25 year warranty on my pressure cooker. So it's guaranteed to last until I'm 61 years old. Will I be throwing together a split pea soup in 2031?

Amnesty International

A recent report by Amnesty International has concluded that Hizbullah committed serious human rights violations by firing 900 Katyusha rockets filled with a combination of explosives and ball bearings directly into Isreali neighbourhoods.

Gee, I'm glad they cleared that up for us.

Link To Press Release